May: Summer vacation as a saviour

I never realized the importance of physical appearance till the skin issue hit me like a sudden storm. It felt like in a flash of seconds, my clear skin betrayed me, and suddenly the mirror became an enemy, reflecting that part of me which I could barely recognize. Since the day my co-workers started noticing the change, I started falling into a deep abyss of despair. A woman like me, who would always hold her head up high, who would always be ready with a smile, started hiding behind her eyes, hoping no one could notice the change. The skin issue that I considered temporary was making its way out under my eyes, some parts of my cheeks, and going way down to my neck, like a trace of water escaping while drinking. Small but impossible to ignore. Every day, the same colleagues would come to me and remind me of my marks not making any difference, and every day, I would awkwardly smile at them, concealing my worries behind the calm demeanor that I would carry along.

One thing that I realized during that time was that people didn't give a damn about your problems. There is always a hidden motive behind every step they take. These were the same people who hardly complimented me during my bright, shiny time. When my skin reflected the aura of natural, rosy beauty, these people turned a blind eye. But suddenly, they were too curious to know the reason behind my lack of improvement of skin as if they were some sort of beauty police waiting for me every day to track my progress.

But the best part about May was the inescapable 'Summer Vacations', which were just around the corner. Every day, I would wait eagerly for the last working day, not because I wanted to rest but because I wanted to be far away from those questioning stares. For the past couple of years, summer vacations for me have always felt less like a break and more like another stretch of study time, but this year, before the start of my PIH, I had planned an entire vacation for myself and my cousin. But it seemed like it's not gonna happen, as I needed to protect my skin from the sun. But anyway, at least I will be at home, and none of my co-workers is going to track my progress with a scoreboard.

So the last day came, and I bid my temporary goodbye to all my colleagues with the hope of seeing them back with fully treated skin. What a hope it was for my soul. Also, I didn't tell my mother about this uninvited skin condition, as I didn't want to scare my mother, but it was time to share this with her, as seeing me with this pigmented face was going to me more scarier for her. I mean, I was worried about her reaction, because just like any other mother, she is careful about my looks and has always encouraged me to look polished and neat. But, to my surprise, she sounded alright and advised me to get my skin double-checked by the dermatologist from my hometown, the one I had spoken of earlier. Her cool and understanding demeanor was so incredible that I couldn't hold back my tears.

I mean, for the last one and a half months, my boyfriend was my sole cheerleader, but that day, I realized my mother had also become one. Now I wasn't scared of any stares waiting for me at home either. Yeah, going home didn't feel joyful this time, but I had a purpose to fulfill, and that was to get my skin back.

I went to my hometown, but before returning to my own home, I stayed at my grandmother's house for a while, since the doctor's clinic was there. My skin became a deep point of discussion for my kinsfolk at my granny's place, too, and they were concerned with the change. I tried to be patient (which I am too bad at) with their questions and replied to them on the cause behind. And with all those "Oh my goodness," it hit me that the stares weren't going away. Anyway, I got my skin checked, and according to the third dermatologist, it was PIH, and it will take a long time to disappear. He also informed me about some 'steroid-based' creams that are used for rapid treatment, but it has a downside of 'rebound pigmentation', so he prescribed creams "skinless" and "melaskin", which were steroid-free creams. I notified him about my previous prescriptions of "Triglow," to which he immediately told me to stop.

I don't know why, but I felt sort of relieved after visiting him. He didn't recommend any other medicines and asked me to visit him again after a month. Deep down, I was getting a hope of better days they were still far away.

With love,

AY